Update

I know it's been a long time since the last posting. Part of it was the end of the semester and finals, and after which, a client project. But a lot of the reason I haven't updated was that chose not to. I had one thing on my mind for the last several months and given the public nature of blogs, I thought it was best to keep quiet.

So what was on my mind? In a word, my job, or rather wondering if I would have one next school year. At the beginning of the school year, the school had plans to hire one tenure tact professor (this means someone with a PhD) and one senior lecturer (no PhD required). The senior lecturer, and promise of a three-year contract, was one of the reasons I came back this school year. The senior lecturer is basically what I've been doing for the last two years, the only difference is that it is a three-year contract, so at the end of each year I wouldn't have to go through the angst of whether I'd be hired back. And what angst it has been.

Somewhere along the line, the school started thinking they could hire two tenure track professors and no senior lecturers. Fast forward to April, only one PhD had accepted the offer and at that point, the school opted to look for a senior lecturer. On Dead Day (the day before finals start, where there is no class) I interviewed for my job. It was somewhat surreal, interviewing with my colleagues for the job I already had. I also had to give a teaching presentation. Despite it being a day off for everyone, I was able to get quite a few of my colleagues, as well as several students there. That, I think, was the best part, getting the students. Many current and former students who couldn't make it wrote letters supporting me. I am very appreciative of the support.

In the end, I got the contract and I will be back. Without going into much detail, one of the things I learned was to stand up for yourself and know what you want and others will go to bat for you (assuming, of course, that you're good to begin with). I got a lot of support along the way and it was great. In fact, working with some great students and other really neat professors is one of the reasons I love teaching.

So now I have some time off until summer school in July. Well, I do have a student who has to finish a project, but other than that, nothing pressing. I am going to do some more work on my own consulting business, as I have some ideas there I'd like to explore. At this point, I just have six weeks and I know it will fly fast.

One month to go

I realized today that the last day of class is exactly one month away. It's always the busiest time of the semester, and with spring, there is that fever where you'd rather be having fun than in a classroom. I'm sure the students feel the same.

The other thing is that there is only one month left and I have no idea what is in store for me next year. Just like last year, I have not yet been asked back. Last year, it was the last day of class before I was given an offer and by then I was so frustrated I said no. Only during the summer did I change my mind, and part of that was because I was told there was going to be a three-year, non-tenure track position open. I'm not sure what happened to that position, but it looks like the university would rather hire a PhD and put them on the tenure track, although that hiring hasn't happened yet either.

Sometimes I feel so caught up in this that I can't breathe, much less sleep. But I have to work through the fact that in academia, decisions are not about me, whether I'm doing a good job or not. It's not always about the students either. And most importantly, I have little influence and can't control things. To paraphrase Stephen Covey (the 7 Habits guy), I have my circle of influence and my circle of control. As I'm learning, university hiring decisions are beyond both my circle of influence and my circle of control.

It will be interesting to see what this next month brings, and what decisions will be made. I'm sure the end of the semester will fly by sooner than I think. That's actually a bit scary, because I don't feel ready for decisions. But in the meantime, I have a bunch of papers to grade today and errands to run, so I better get back at it. Grading and errands -- those are in my circle of control.

Excellent

I found out this week that I am one of eight faculty members from across the university who will be honored this year by the Texas State Student Foundation for inspiration and outstanding dedication to educational excellence. The Student Foundation is a group of student leaders who serve as presidential ambassadors for the university president.

The coolest thing to me about this honor is that it is bestowed by the students. They nominate you, write an essay about you, and then the faculty is selected. I didn't even know I was being considered until I received the invitation to attend the event.

It also means whatever the university decides to do, I know I am a good teacher and am reaching the students.

Frustration

Seems like I'm going through the same old stuff that I did last spring, whether there will be a teaching spot for me next year. Without going into all the details, let's just say it's not looking good and I'm just frustrated to the hilt. Yesterday, on the way home, I was wondering why I put myself through this again.

Then I remembered why -- the students. I've got a great group of students this semester. Actually, every semester I have a great students. I just have to remember to focus on that and forget about the rest of the b.s. Of course, that's easier said than done...

Apple for the teacher

With yesterday's graduation, the semester is officially over. This week I received a couple of very thoughtful emails from graduating seniors. This is the reason I teach.

I also wanted to tell you that you are truly an inspiration and excellent instructor. You carry yourself in a professional manner, teach others how to utilize their PR skills, while still exercising your own. I learned a lot this semester. If I hadn't had this class I would have know from books what to do, but would have never had hands on experience. My learning style, as well as many others, application is vital. I'm not trying to be a kiss up, since I'm graduating, but wanted to tell you myself....not through the school... Thank you dearly!

I really want to thank you for everything. I know you've thought about going back and working for a PR firm full time, and I know you are probably great at that, but I don't know what I would have done without a teacher like you during my college career. You are the only teacher that has taken the time out to get to know me on a personal level, and I'm really grateful for that. I've learned a lot of valuable information throughout your classes, and I'm excited to use it all in the real world. You are a great teacher, and I really look up to you.

These comments are some of the greatest Christmas presents one can receive.

Graduation

Yesterday was the first time I attended graduation as a faculty member. Honestly, it's not because I wanted to, but because I HAD to. Although I knew from my own experience that Texas State runs pretty efficient graduation ceremonies, I still dreaded because other graduations I've been to where they go on for two hours, you don't know anyone but one person, and the speeches are boring.

Yesterday changed my mind.

It started in the gym, where the students and faculty gathered pre-ceremony. "Ms. Quackenbush!" the students yelled as they came up to me all excited with hugs and post-graduation plans. One student's company finally started conversations about permanent employment, while at the same time he is interviewing with another company in LA. Another student secured a position as a flight attendant with a major airlines. She wants to travel a few years before settling down to job in PR. Others were just excited school was over. I had to laugh at one student who has yet to learn how to fix a tie. Actually, that was several students, because no one could help him. "They should teach this in class," he mutters.

It was also good to chat with other faculty. With varying schedules, we don't see each other much. We can laugh and joke. Dave Nolan, walking beside me in the processional, tells me, "don't fall" as we are going down the steps, then proceeds to speed up, so I'm almost jogging to keep up!

Our department sits on the front row, facing the students. We are positioned so that the students have to walk past us before they go on stage. If they see me, my students wave, shake hands, give a high five or just hug me. "I'm so proud of you," I whisper. Some of these students I've had since I first started teaching and now they are graduating. Others, I may have just me this semester, but they taught me as much as I've taught them. It's bittersweet to see them all go.

The ceremony is over 75 minutes after starting. Not bad. I'm glad I went. I was very proud to see my students graduate. I wish them all the best for their future.

What's been keeping me busy

I have been so busy this semester. I'm teaching four classes and then taking a fifth -- a Web design class. I think I could keep up with that, but I'm also in charge of our annual Mass Communication Week at school. This is three days where we bring in guest speakers, industry experts and notable alumni, to discuss issues, trends and careers in the mass media. This year we have more than 50 guest speakers. I've spent a lot of time arranging the event, trying to get through the university red tape to pay for travel, and working with a team of students from my campaigns class to publicize the event. To see who we have coming, click here.

I can't wait until two weeks.

Back to school time

For most of central Texas, today is the first day of school. But not for me. I started Thursday. Despite what I said before, I have gone back to teach one more year at Texas State University-San Marcos.

All summer I was job hunting and while some things seemed promising, there were few jobs I was actually really interested in. However, I've heard that it takes a month for every $10K worth of salary one was looking for and since it had only been three months, I expected it would take several months yet. Then I got a note from the university. They were in need of a PR teacher. I was already slated to teach one class and they asked if I would think about returning full time for at least another year. A raise was offered, as well as an opportunity to apply for a more permanent position, so I had to consider it. My class schedule was basically two days a week, which would allow time to grow my own business as well as the consulting business Doug and I are starting. I asked if I could have a similar schedule in the spring so I could continue my networking, and they said yes. There wasn't a lot of downside, so I said yes.

It ended up that my one evening class didn't make, so I am back teaching the same three classes I did last year -- Intro to PR, PR Writing and two sections of PR Campaigns, all on Tuesdays and Thursdays. Additionally, I'm auditing a multimedia Web design class, also on TTH. Throw in five hours of office hours and I have a full day on each of those days, from 7:15 a.m. to 6 p.m.

Two weeks ago when I went to sign paperwork, I grabbed my mail from the summer, which included class evals and letters from the VP of academic affairs. The later informed me of certain students who, upon graduation, listed me as one of the professors who made a difference in their college life, along with any comments those students made. I had a half dozen from spring graduation and it was very touching. I also read my class evals. About 95 percent were extremely positive, with one student per class saying something like I was too hard and assigned too much work, I seemed to think this was the only class they took, etc., etc. etc. Of course, I took those for what they were worth -- after all, until they get a job where they are expected to work 50+ hours a week in a pressure cooker, they don't know what work is.

I guess I must not be too disliked, both of my Campaigns classes are filled to the brim, with 20 students. The past two semesters the classes were capped at 15. The other section of Campaigns only has 13 students with 6 open seats. I'm sure there are reasons for that, but on Thursday, when the students started talking about the teacher for that section and the things he does, I put a moratorium on it. Hearing about him just raises my blood pressure and I wasn't going through it again this semester.

Seeing the students, especially in one of my Campaigns classes, was like old home week. Now that it's my fifth semester of teaching, I've had many of the students, either in Intro or PR Writing. Two girls I've had in both, and realistically, they should get a different perspective from another professor, but I know that I'm the best and right now, they don't have much options.

I think some of my friends thought I would be more excited than I am. It's almost like I'm resigned to teaching. That's not exactly right, but as hard of a decision as it was to leave, it was just as hard to return. Mentally, it took a lot for me to separate the identity of a teacher from who I was, but after several months, I had done it. Now I have to reconcile that part of me back into the whole. But it's only been one day and that was mainly getting to know the students. Give me a few more class periods to get into the swing of things, and then I'll be excited.

It's been a long time...

It's been a long time since I rock and rolled
It's been a long time since I did the stroll
Oh baby, let me get back, Let me get back,
Let me get back, Baby where I come from
It's been a long time, Been a long time
Been a long lonely, lonely, lonely, lonely, lonely time
Yes it has...

Apologizes to Led Zeppelin, but I know I've been a bad blogger. There's no real excuse, but a lot of things have been going on, some busy, some I wasn't ready to talk about. Of course, after awhile things get away from you and you feel guilty. I mean, why should I feel guilty about not blogging or worse yet HAVING to blog, but I was, so it continued to build. Then the other day I was talking to some bloggers I met at a networking function and they convinced me it was okay. I could go back. And so here I am. There have been things I have wanted to blog about, but hadn't logged on because I thought readers needed to know why I hadn't been blogging. So here it goes:

Life has been crazy.

Okay, no excuse, we all have crazy lives, but for awhile my life was crazy busy and got away from me. Then I started a period of transition and now, well, I don't know, I'm just here.

It started in February with an email from a PR agency I've done work for in the past, asking if I could spare some hours for a week. It was a week where nothing major was going on at school, I there wasn't a test to write or project to grade or anything like that, so I said yes, I could give them about 20 hours for the week. That 20 hours turned into almost 2 months, working 25-30 hours a week. I would get up at 5:15, leave the house at 6:15, drive 50 minutes to San Marcos, do what I needed to prep for that day, teach class at 8 a.m., teach another class, have office hours and leave campus at 12:15. I'd drive to downtown Austin and work most evenings until 6:30, sometimes 7 or later, often being the last one to leave the office, and head home, lucky if I could squeeze in a 30 minute workout. Then it was home, dinner and anything I needed to do to prep for class the next day, fall exhausted into bed and start all over. It was like this four days a week; Fridays were easy, it was working 8 hours a day at the agency. Weekends were spent grading and doing class prep. Blogging was the last thing I wanted.

Then in mid-April it was suddenly over. The crazy client I was working on changed its mind on some things and the agency figured out how to offload some of the work I was doing to another office. While I really liked the money, making almost double working part-time what I did teaching full-time, I also didn't mind that they didn't need me. It was two weeks until the end of the semester and student projects were due and finals were coming up. It was my busiest time of the semester.

So mid-April, I'd been doing PR work and getting paid well for about 2 months and I realized I missed the work. Yes, there was a lot of BS to deal with from clients, but at least I got paid to deal with it. On the teaching side, it's mid-April, I loved my students and loved being in the classroom, but still hadn't been asked to come back in the fall. For 2 months they knew they needed someone but as as the director told me, it was like the movie Sophie's Choice and she was "choosing not to choose." Such is the life of an instructor. Unless I got that PhD and got on tenure track, my future would be uncertain. There was also a lot of non-classroom BS to deal with, only I didn't get paid to deal with it, and quite honestly I was very disheartened, disenchanted and frustrated.

Last day of class. I'm like a proud parent, watching my students present their projects to their clients. I'm sad, as I know I may not see some of them again. The campaigns class is graduating and I have no idea if I'll be back the following year. Finally, on that day, I get asked if I want to come back the next year and say I need to think about it. And think I did, especially as the next day I had an interview with one of the top tech PR firms. I spent a week with a constant headache, trying to weigh my options. It was made more difficult when I didn't get the job at the firm.

Do I stay with what I know that is safe, although I am frustrated, or do I take a chance for something more? I thought about all the times I played it safe and how it really didn't work out like I hoped. I thought about what I try to teach my students about taking chances and going for it and following their dreams. I decided that it was best if I left the university, at least as full-time faculty, and let the school know my decision. I did offer to teach one or two classes a semester, particularly at night, and they accepted. This was the day of my last final. I packed my office and left, saying goodbye to hardly anyone because it would be too hard.

I'd be lying if I didn't admit that for the first few weeks I had a lot of cognitive dissonance, or wonder whether I did the right thing, especially when I heard that the PhD they hired to start in the fall bailed on them, leaving them down two PR instructors. I also felt a little bit of a loss of identity. Who was I, if not an instructor at the university? Let's face it, what little they pay is made up by prestige.

But now things are picking up for me. For the last month I've been networking like crazy, meeting new people and attending events. Things that they always say you should be doing, but let's face it, for three years I've been locked in an ivory tower between grad school and teaching and making it back to Austin for a networking lunch hasn't been feasible. I look at my calendar for this month and almost every day has something; next week I have a meeting every night and have lunch appointments almost every day. In between times, I'm meeting with companies that may want to offer me a job or at least some freelance work. And believe it or not, I have turned down some offers (especially for freelance work), because it wasn't right. I have to have the belief that the right thing will happen for me.

So what I have learned from all this? First, you don't have to settle. Second, you have to believe in your own worth and stand up for it. Third, people are nice and friends are important. And finally, you can go blog again.

Swinging into the semester

We've finished the first two weeks of the semester. Getting started back up is busy, which is why I haven't blogged much. It's my fourth semester teaching (second as a full-time faculty member) and yet there are days I'm still not used to it. Although I initially wasn't ready for the semester to start, after missing three days of classes because of the ice storm, I was finally ready to go back to school when it started two weeks ago. Now, it seems like we've been in class for months.

I didn't sleep well the night before classes started. It was almost like when I was a student. I was worried about my classes -- would the students like me, would they get me. Yet, for the first time in my teaching, I'm getting returning students. Out of 28 students in my two campaigns courses, I've had 12 of them previously. Out of 14 students in my writing class, I know 4. Last semester I only had 2 students out of 148 who I knew at the beginning of the semester. Now I have students who are choosing to take classes because I'm teaching them. It's also the first semester where I've had a small (38 students) Intro class. This means I only have 80 students among my four classes. Compare this with 90 students just in Intro last semester.

I'm actually pretty excited with my campaigns classes this semester. Having taught it once, I'm a little more experienced, but also, these students seem on the ball with their client work. I think we can get a lot accomplished. I've been pretty easy with my writing class thus far. Last semester I made assumptions on where they should be in regards to their writing skills and I was wrong. This semester we are starting with the basics. It's boring, I'm sure, but I'm hoping it will help them to be better writers.

I think I'm starting to get into the rhythm of my new schedule. Last semester I was only on campus 2 days a week, but I went from 8-4:30, with basically an hour break at 9:45 and an hour at 3:30. This semester I'm on campus 4 days, but am done by 12:30 each day. I don't like the mileage on the car, but the hours, and commute home, is much better, plus I'm not as exhausted.

I'm still not sure what the fall will bring, if I'll be teaching or doing something else. It's looking more promising that I could be teaching, but one never knows.

End of semester count down

Sometimes I wonder if students realize that teachers too are counting down to the end of the semester. I'm at the point where each day I'm ticking off how long is left. For me, it's two more days of classes before finals. With four classes, I'm teaching more classes than some of my students are taking. They may have tests, projects and papers, but we teachers are the ones who have to grade them all. Starting tomorrow, I will be a grading maniac, trying fast and furious to get things graded, all the while still prepping and writing the finals for my classes. In the meantime, I have students begging for second chances, asking what they can do to bring up their grade. Or others, arguing that something is "not fair." Students are still at the point where they don't realize how tough the world really is.

Of course, in the meantime, unlike them I am an adult and have responsibilities. Holiday shopping and planning, Christmas cards (the pressure of picking the right ones and making sure the list is updated and no one is left out) and decorating. Where do we put the tree this year, as the kegarator is in the spot we normally have the tree? Then there are the Christmas parties. We've gotten invitations to three thus far and are checking schedules before we RSVP. And travel reservations and who will watch the dogs. Doug is good in providing input and doing specific chores when nagged, but writing and addressing Christmas cards, or hanging garland around the house, is just not his forte. Luckily, he can get boxes out of the attic and string lights on the tree.

I am so ready for the semester to be over, but I'm not ready for the holidays. Why must one come with the other?