JibJab -- What we call the news

This is great, and VERY accurate!

What We Call the News Funny Jokes at JibJab

Until You Walk a Mile In a Pair of Crocs…

This was written by Katie Kasprzak, one of the students in my PR Writing class. The assignment was to write a column. Katie's was really funny and blogworthy. With her permission, I have posted it below

Until You Walk a Mile In a Pair of Crocs…

We have all seen them, might even own a pair or two, and if not, then we are curious what the buzz about Crocs really is all about. These plastic, holey shoes that range from a variety of colors and are ridiculously overpriced seem to be getting everyone’s attention these days. Famous for outfitting boaters, chefs and gardeners, these shoes have taken fashion to an entire different level.

I vowed I would never wear them. They reminded me of gardener shoes. They were big, bulky and not even mildly attractive. Then I got a job at Cabela’s. My friends told me that I would become a victim because they are “comfortable.” I laughed. Then one day it rained, no, it poured. My shoes were soaked and I had a nine and a half hour shift to work. I gave in. I headed straight to footwear and bought a pair of khaki Crocs. I was hooked. They really are comfortable!

Customers comment that they are hideous and tacky. I can’t agree more. Now that I own them, I have vowed only to wear them to work. Okay, and walk my dog. Okay, and maybe the next time it rains on campus. Okay, so maybe I’m just not ashamed to wear them anymore. The truth is they are just shoes. Really, really, comfortable shoes. Crocs are indestructible, washable, colorful, slip resistant, weightless, yet hated by virtually everyone that comes across a pair.

So whatever happened to allowing and respecting a difference of opinion? I don’t personally like the shoe, even though I own a pair. I don’t harp on Croc owners, yet every time I wear mine I get a reality check and people point out how unfashionable these ever-so-popular shoes are.

Crocs are ugly; in fact there are more than 500 Facebook groups that allow people to express their concerns regarding Crocs. In 2002 only 1,500 pairs of Crocs were sold. In 2006 however, Crocs were projected to reach sales more than $200 million. Now that is a lot of ugly shoes!

So, until you have walked a mile, or stood on your feet all day, in a pair of Crocs, back off those that have.

When the past comes back to haunt you...

Mom recently scanned some old photos. Doug saw this one and deemed it "blog worthy." Come on folks, it was the early 90s, this hair style was fashionable. Still, it's a little embarrassing. I can't wait until Doug's mom scans some photos of him and I post those. I seem to remember some photos with a mustache -- now those are funny.

Snake terrorists

Check out the front page story in today's Statesman. Seems like some folks thought it would be funny to throw a python at a guy working the drive-thru at Taco Bell. The Stateman broke the story last night and now it's being picked up by KLBJ, KXAN and KVUE. As the Statesman reporter told me, funny stories go a long way. Next thing we know folks will be tossing alligators at the Wendy's drive-thru.

Time wasters

I officially waste too much time on sudoku.

Your time: 3 minutes, 46 seconds
0 min			60 mins
Rank: Top 5% Medium level average time: 8 minutes, 6 seconds - more details.

The other thing I'm wasting my time on is learning Web design. See the changes I made to my site. Yesterday I started learning Dreamweaver, which meant I went out and bought Adobe Creative Suite 3 (with an academic discount, of course). Next week I'll learn about Photoshop. I've tried to play around with it today, but man, I didn't get it. I also played around with InDesign. It's been years since I've been in Quark, and while InDesign is similar, it has a lot more features. Of course we're not even using InDesign for the Web design class. Anyway, by the end of next weekend I should have a fairly decent site.

When it comes to heart disease, there are no mulligans

One of the things that kept me busy this summer has been coordinating the marketing for Heart Ball and Go Red programs for the Austin American Heart Association. Our first event, the Third Annual American Heart Association Classic Golf Tournament, is in 10 days at the Avery Ranch Golf Course. (If interested in playing, visit www.americanheart.org/austingolf.)

I really think the graphic (below) and the mulligan headline are catchy and I'm pleased with the results. Although I have to admit, the creative concept for Go Red (Go Red, Austin Style) and for the Heart Ball (Hearts of Hollywood) really blow me away. Those designers did an awesome job. I'll show those off closer to those events.

Simponize Dara

A fun little way to waste time. Upload a photo and Simponsize yourself.

Arrrgh!

Last weekend we went to Houston, visited the Johnson Space Center and saw the Chiefs game. I thought I posted a few blog posts from my cell phone, but I guess something happened. Freakin' AT&T. The week has been crazy and I'm going to spend the next four days grading, writing a test, trying to organize Mass Comm Week and trying to get my arms back around the stuff for the American Heart Association.

In the meantime, check out my new Website. In addition to teaching four classes, I'm taking a Web design and production class.

In the right

Brain Lateralization Test Results

Right Brain (66%) The right hemisphere is the visual, figurative, artistic, and intuitive side of the brain. Left Brain (42%) The left hemisphere is the logical, articulate, assertive, and practical side of the brain

Are You Right or Left Brained?
personality tests by similarminds.com

Back to school time

For most of central Texas, today is the first day of school. But not for me. I started Thursday. Despite what I said before, I have gone back to teach one more year at Texas State University-San Marcos.

All summer I was job hunting and while some things seemed promising, there were few jobs I was actually really interested in. However, I've heard that it takes a month for every $10K worth of salary one was looking for and since it had only been three months, I expected it would take several months yet. Then I got a note from the university. They were in need of a PR teacher. I was already slated to teach one class and they asked if I would think about returning full time for at least another year. A raise was offered, as well as an opportunity to apply for a more permanent position, so I had to consider it. My class schedule was basically two days a week, which would allow time to grow my own business as well as the consulting business Doug and I are starting. I asked if I could have a similar schedule in the spring so I could continue my networking, and they said yes. There wasn't a lot of downside, so I said yes.

It ended up that my one evening class didn't make, so I am back teaching the same three classes I did last year -- Intro to PR, PR Writing and two sections of PR Campaigns, all on Tuesdays and Thursdays. Additionally, I'm auditing a multimedia Web design class, also on TTH. Throw in five hours of office hours and I have a full day on each of those days, from 7:15 a.m. to 6 p.m.

Two weeks ago when I went to sign paperwork, I grabbed my mail from the summer, which included class evals and letters from the VP of academic affairs. The later informed me of certain students who, upon graduation, listed me as one of the professors who made a difference in their college life, along with any comments those students made. I had a half dozen from spring graduation and it was very touching. I also read my class evals. About 95 percent were extremely positive, with one student per class saying something like I was too hard and assigned too much work, I seemed to think this was the only class they took, etc., etc. etc. Of course, I took those for what they were worth -- after all, until they get a job where they are expected to work 50+ hours a week in a pressure cooker, they don't know what work is.

I guess I must not be too disliked, both of my Campaigns classes are filled to the brim, with 20 students. The past two semesters the classes were capped at 15. The other section of Campaigns only has 13 students with 6 open seats. I'm sure there are reasons for that, but on Thursday, when the students started talking about the teacher for that section and the things he does, I put a moratorium on it. Hearing about him just raises my blood pressure and I wasn't going through it again this semester.

Seeing the students, especially in one of my Campaigns classes, was like old home week. Now that it's my fifth semester of teaching, I've had many of the students, either in Intro or PR Writing. Two girls I've had in both, and realistically, they should get a different perspective from another professor, but I know that I'm the best and right now, they don't have much options.

I think some of my friends thought I would be more excited than I am. It's almost like I'm resigned to teaching. That's not exactly right, but as hard of a decision as it was to leave, it was just as hard to return. Mentally, it took a lot for me to separate the identity of a teacher from who I was, but after several months, I had done it. Now I have to reconcile that part of me back into the whole. But it's only been one day and that was mainly getting to know the students. Give me a few more class periods to get into the swing of things, and then I'll be excited.

Huh?

From this weekend's Miss Teen USA pageant. If Miss South Carolina's answer is any indication, it's pretty obvious why one-fifth of Americans are clueless.

Our new car

We are closing on a new (for us) car this afternoon. It's a 2003 Mitsubishi Eclipse Spyder GT convertible. Actually, it has really low miles and is under blue book, so we are getting a good deal. Plus Doug has been jonesing for a convertible since our last trip to LA when we rented one. Of course, I'm not sure why he thinks he'll get to drive it -- it's my car!

One recommendation, if you are buying a used car, and are in the Austin area, be sure to use the AutoPI service. They come and check out everything with the car. We've used them three times now, once they saved us from buying a lemon and twice they confirmed we were getting good deals. Well worth the cost.

Disclaimer -- this isn't our car, it's just the same make/model/year/color and looks exactly the same. We just don't have a photo of our car.

How NOT to market your charity event

I spend a lot of time volunteering as well as doing my fair share of pro bono PR work, both professionally and via my students' classroom projects. PAWS Shelter, Austin Cycling Association, the Zach Scott Theatre, the Fine Arts Festival and the American Heart Association are just a few organizations I've done PR for. Because our dogs are rescues, I pay attention to fundraisers for Austin rescue groups. Yesterday, I received this email announcement:

Subject: Charity Dog Wash

Do you have a dirty dog? This is not a pick up line. Seriously, if you've got a dirty, stinky or mangy dog, bring him by the Bark N Bubbles dog grooming salon this Sunday and the MorningX will wash him all shiny and clean for you. What's the catch? No catch really, we just want a $10 donation (at the very least) which will go to a local Pit rescue organisation. Come out to the Dog Wash and meet some delightful Pits who may change your mind forever. We'll have refreshments and snacks, as well as 101X goodies, and you'll be doing something constructive with your Sunday instead of getting drunk.

So at first I'm thinking, "hey, this might be fun and a good cause. Allegra was really smelly the other day (I swear, she has BO on hot days); maybe we'll do this."

Then I read further. I don't care how nice some people say pit bulls are; I'm really not wanting to meet one up close and personal in a stressful situation with a lot of other noise and activities going on. After all, Dante is a big wuss and doesn't like chihuahuas (or poodles or any other toy breed that barks at him, or any dog that barks at him, or anything that looks at him cross-eyed), I don't think he can handle a pit bull. But I keep reading and keep thinking about going.

Then I get to the call to action. Excuse me? Are we trying to be clever, because it just falls flat. Actually, it's somewhat offensive. Not only do we usually do something constructive on Sundays (which most of the time involves construction and/or cleaning), I can't really recall the last day, much less Sunday, I spent the day sitting around getting wasted. It's not daily, weekly or monthly occurrence.

In marketing, there can be a fine line between a home run and a huge stinking foul. As I tell my students, "always have someone read what you wrote because what was in your head may not be how it reads on the paper, and when in doubt, leave it out." I wish the charity well in its fundraising efforts, but quite honestly, this email was a turn off and the only baths our dogs will be getting this Sunday will be in our backyard.

Murphy reigns (again)

Speaking of what my face looks like, I remembered the other thing Murphy's Law did a few weeks ago. I found out that I am allergic to benzoyl peroxide. Of course I didn't find this out by reading it somewhere. I found this out because my face, particularly my eyes, swelled like a pumpkin and my complexion became as rough as sandpaper when I used a face wash that contained the stuff. I was not a pretty sight. In fact one day I had a meeting for some work I'm doing for the American Heart Association's Go Red campaign. A friend was having it at her house because she was recovering from plastic surgery. When she saw me she thought I was doing something to my face just to make her feel more comfortable. I wish!

It took several days to get back to normal, and even now, my skin feels drier than usual. But I can now go out in public and not be mistaken for a leper. If anyone needs some face was benzoyl peroxide, I have an almost full bottle that I won't be using any more.

Celebrity look alikes

I'm not sure if I should be offended that I look more like guys than girls and that I don't even know who most of these women are. Of the two women I know, one is dead. Oh well.

Murphy reigns

It all started two weeks ago. Our friend Robert was able to get us a deal on new kitchen appliances -- stove, dishwasher and an over the range microwave. He came over that evening to install them and all went well until the guys realized that the cabinets over the stove were two low. They emptied the cabinets, left the stuff for me (I was out at a networking event) to go through, installed the microwave and had a beer or 10. Despite having work left for me, I was still very pleased.

The next night I was again out at a networking event (Austin is crazy full of them mid-month). Some guy who came the night before to try and sell us an alarm system came back that night to talk to Doug. State of the art, no install charge, has cellular backup (which our current one didn't), etc., etc., so Doug agreed. I came home that night to a darkened house. When Doug agreed, they had installers nearby who came over to and started work. About 5 minutes before I pulled into the driveway they blew a fuse, which blew the entire house. Good thing I like candles and have plenty of them. The guy couldn't figure out how to get the thing going and since I didn't want to be without electricity in July until 9 a.m., the alarm guy called an electrician, who came over at 10:45 p.m. and had the lights on by 11. Good deal.

For some reason the dogs went crazy that night. In and out all night, couldn't settle, didn't want us to sleep. The next morning we found out why -- they found baker's chocolate from the emptied cabinet and had eaten some. As wound up as Dante was in the middle of the night, Allegra was lethargic in the morning. Doug and I, despite being exhausted, went to our Wednesday morning networking meeting, but instead of hanging out after, working in a coffee shop and going to an lunch networking event, I started worrying about the dogs and came home. Allegra seemed bad and was throwing up on the carpet. Luckily, by the evening she was much better.

Now I'm sure there were some other things that week, in fact I think there was something bad every day, I just don't remember it because of what came next. Doug sliced opened his foot on Sunday. He dropped the hummingbird feeder as he was hanging it. Of course, dinner was ready, so I told him to just clean it up after. He did, but didn't think to put on shoes. He ended up cutting a huge gash in the bottom of his foot and was bleeding all over the patio. He bled out one towel and not knowing exactly what to do, I called the insurance company. Here it is America and the first place to call is insurance. I just didn't want to get charged for going to the emergency room. I talked to a nurse who had me first have Doug lay down, as he was about to pass out. Second, I was to put on a clean towel and when he was okay to stand, take him to the emergency room. I found some duct tape, that all American invention, duct taped the towel to his foot and got him in the car.

Three hours later we left the emergency room, Doug with six stitches. After a stop at the gas station and 24 hour pharmacy, we made it home. As bone tired as I was, I cleaned the blood and the glass off the patio just so we wouldn't have any emergencies with the dogs.

The last thing to happen was Tuesday, when Plexi died. She was a fish, a pleco that is used to clean the tank. We just got her Sunday afternoon and we think the other fish picked on her until she died. I was sad and Doug said no more naming fish. He wasn't too happy that I wanted to bury her instead of flushing her, but I got my way.

Saturday we saw a play at the Zach, An Almost Holy Picture. In it, the character said that his dad always believed that good things happened in threes and bad things in sevens. The character's wife said that the Hopi Indians believed everything happened in fours. I don't know what I believe, except that the last few weeks have been crazy and feels like Murphy's Law is in charge.

Relaxing on a Sunday evening

Busy weekend. We've been rearranging the house. Our spare bedroom is now a hobby workroom and we FINALLY have room in the garage for the kiln. Tomorrow we get our new dishwasher, range and microwave/vent. For now, Doug is out playing poker and Dexter and I are hanging out on the couch.

Dexter in the sink

And they say cats don't like water ...

Global IQ

On the 4th we were hanging out at a friend's house and I started thumbing through the latest issue of Newsweek. The first thing I noticed, and thought it was hilarious, was that they were saying it was the summer double issue, but only 78 pages. I swear, magazines continue to get thinner by the year.

Anyway, it's the Global IQ issue, with 181 things you must know. I ended up getting so interested in the issue that I bought it yesterday (didn't think I would be a good guest if I spent the next few hours reading instead of chatting). So far it's pretty interesting.

If you have some time to kill, I'd challenge you to take the Global IQ Quiz. It's 130 multiple choice questions, so it will take awhile. I scored 52% on the quiz. Post your score in the comments section.

Update on perfect job

Back in November I wrote about seeing a listing for what would have been the perfect job for Doug and me -- chief beer officer. We never heard anything from the company and hadn't thought about it in awhile until a couple of weeks ago. Doug and I decided it must have just been a marketing ploy. That was until last week when I was flipping through one of his beer magazines (yes, I was a bit bored) and saw an ad congratulating the new chief beer officer. Oh well, I guess we'll just have to wait until there's a new opening. In the meantime, I am still searching for my perfect job.